Seventeen
by Eckeltrician
Summary: Lily Evans is about to do the unthinkable. L/J. Oneshot.


**Title:** Seventeen

**Author: **S.K. Moor

**Summary: **Lily Evans is about to do the unthinkable.

**A/N: **Hey, fanfictioners! So, it's my first story, I've finally gathered the, um, muse to write one. Rather short, I know, but I think it's alright. So, could you please leave a review? I would appreciate it very much - and hey, how will I get better without reviews?

And thanks go to Kelsey, my beta for this.

-S.K.

Oh, and Happy Halloween!

* * *

She couldn't be doing this.

She _wasn't _doing this.

Oh, but she was.

She, Lily Evans, was going to ask out, the one, the only, James Potter.

Groaning slightly, she made her way down to the Quidditch pitch, where he almost always was.

Well, where he was when he wasn't making her _fancy _him!

How it had come to this, Lily had no idea. When she walked into the Head's Carriage and saw _Potter _there, she was sure that this year was going to be Hell on Earth. But it hadn't been...quite the opposite really. They'd become friends – _good _friends even. And Merlin knew that it made everything easier when she found out he '_definitely, without a doubt_' did not fancy her anymore.

Up until two weeks ago, that is. When she'd found out, rather surprisingly, that she fancied him. Just a little bit. Or a lot. And then she'd gone through the whole denial process where to fancy someone was just to like as more than a friend, but not _nearly _enough to want something more.

Except, of course, she _did _want more. A _lot _more, in fact.

And that was the problem here. She wanted to be James Potter's girlfriend.

So why wouldn't the stupid bloke get his act together and _ask her out _already? She'd been dropping hints like _mad _when she finally accepted the rather large crush she had on him.

Lily shook her. _Crush_. What was she, eleven?

Well, actually, Lily mused. Maybe being eleven was preferable to being seventeen. When she was eleven all she really worried about was her Transfiguration mark. Granted, she _still_ worried about that, but that was hardly the point here. Eleven was just so much easier. No _hormones_, or _fancying_, or, or _James Potter_. Eleven was that age where everything was normal. The age when she could hate James properly, without having to worry that a bushel load of new feelings would hit her. Without worrying that she would end up –

Lily snapped out of her thoughts immediately. She wasn't even going to _think _about that.

But how couldn't she? How couldn't she think about –?

_No, no, no!_

Lily coughed quietly, searching about her own mind for a distraction. Anything to stop her thinking about –

And her mates had been no help _whatsoever! _Marlene had laughed at her and proceeded to make fun of her as soon Lily had confessed. Alice's advice – if you could call it that – had been more sympathetic, but just as unhelpful as Marlene making jibes about her future Potter-babies.

"Well, Lily," Alice had said, waving her fork at her. "You have to _do _something about this. Just _tell _him how you feel."

"Or you could just jump his bones," Marlene had suggested, smiling wickedly. "I find it works better."

"Marlene!" Alice cried, shocked.

"What?! Unresolved sexual tension is inevitable if she doesn't. And Merlin knows _that's _much worse than some _fancying_."

Lily had proceeded to throw her pumpkin juice at her and storm from the Hall, much to Marlene's ever-lasting amusement.

And now, here she was. Going towards the Quidditch Pitch where James was. To ask him out!

_What the hell was wrong with her?_

Oh, god. There he was. Flying around. All sweaty. A nice shower would take care of that.

Mmm, James in a shower...

_Stop!_

This couldn't be healthy, could it? Surely dreaming about a starkers Head Boy was a symptom of some deadly disease? These imaginings couldn't be a product of her normal, sane, _Lily _mind could they?

Oh, but they were.

_Shit_.

Oh, God she couldn't do this. She had to leave. _Now._ Why had she thought she could do this? She couldn't do this!

But she _had _to do this.

No! A part of her brain protested. She didn't! A bit of unresolved sexual tension didn't hurt anybody did it? She didn't need to snog him or jump him or _anything_.

She'd be fine. She was better than fancying a guy so pathetically. She didn't actually _need _to be with him, did she?

Oh, Merlin, yes, yes she did. She wanted to snog him. She wanted to, as embarrassing as it was, jump his bones.

But only, of course, to get rid of the unresolved sexual tension.

Lily wavered on the edge on the Pitch, body turned to go, feet firmly planted on the ground. She had no idea what to do! Had she ever asked a guy out?

No.

But what if he _really _didn't fancy her anymore? What if he had _meant _it? _Then _what?

Oh, God she had to get out of here.

She turned to go, again. She would get out of here and never look back. She didn't fancy James _that _much. Really, it was just a little phase. She would grow out of it and –

"Lily?"

Shit crap shit shit shit.

No!

She turned slowly; dread settling into every single cell in her body. She looked up at him – why was he so bloody _tall?_ - and forced a smile onto her face.

"Hullo, James!" she said, waving up at him, trying her hardest to seem cheerful. Which probably looked to an outsider like she was in excruciating pain. "How are you?"

"Fine," he answered, looking shocked to find her on the Quidditch Pitch. It wasn't a spot she graced often. "What are you doing out here?"

"Well, to tell the truth," she began, and then stopped. _Should _she tell the truth? Where would that get her? Would he reject her?

When in doubt, she told herself firmly, _lie_.

"I was actually just leaving," she told him, unflinching. It was actually true. Just not the reply to his actual question.

"You were...leaving?" he asked, brow furrowed.

"Yes. Yes I am," she said, relived he hadn't pried. "So, I'll see you around, James, but I have to go now and –"

She turned around to leave, silently thanking the divine forces; thanking Merlin, God and the fates that she hadn't been stopped. That she was actually getting out of there. That she hadn't done what she had meant to. That he hadn't stopped her. That he hadn't asked questions.

"Wait!" he cried, grabbing her arm.

_Let go of me, you berk!_

"Ow, James!" she tried to tug her arm free. "I have to go! I really – ow! James, just let me – "

"I need to talk to you!"

"_I _need to _go_ - !"

"You can go after I've talked to you," he said, pulling her flush against him.

_Oh, Merlin_.

"Um, James," she said, unconsciously licking her lips. "I really.....I really do have to go."

"You can go _after _I've talked to you," James said, locking Lily in an iron-embrace. She struggled futilely against his arms.

"But I have to go meet with.....with Marlene! For a study session! In the Library!" she thumped his chest and glared up at him. "And I promised I wouldn't be late!"

"I'm pretty sure Marlene can wait," James chuckled and pulled her even tighter against him, if that was possible. "Since I have recently been informed that she is quite absorbed in her 'study session' with Dan Davies."

How did he know about that?

"How do you know about that?" she asked, shocked, not quite forgetting their close proximity.

James grinned down at her. "She told me. Said it 'might come in useful'.

It was settled. She was going to give her so-called best mate a long and painful death. And then bring her back to give her another. And another. And another.

"Well, then," said Lily, trying to pull away again. "I have an essay to write, you know. Best get on that. I don't want to hand it in late, you know. I mean, I don't think Slughorn will mind all that much, but just in case –"

James laughed again, and the deep rumble from his chest strangely comforted Lily, much to her displeasure.

"Stop your babbling, Lil," he laughed. "It isn't _becoming_."

Lily scowled at the reference to what she had told him about his hair-ruffling habit. "Since when have you cared about what's becoming, James Potter?"

"I don't," he said, as if it were obvious. Which it was. "You do. I'm only trying to _help_ you Lily."

"Yeah, right," Lily snorted and frowned up at him again. "If you wanted to _help _me so much you would let me go."

"But I need to talk to you."

"Talk away."

"Well, actually," James looked away, embarrassed. "I don't need to anymore. Because you haven't done it."

Lily blinked. She hadn't been expecting that.

"Haven't done what?" she asked, curiously.

"I...it doesn't matter," he said, dropping his arms and stepping backwards. "You can go now, if you want."

Lily clenched her fists, furious. Why did she fancy him again?

"I'm not going _anywhere_," she hissed, "until you _tell _me."

"I don't _want _to tell you."

"You don't really _have a choice_."

James raised his eyebrows, amused now. "Don't I?"

"No," she said. "No, you bloody well don't. Because I wanted to go and you wouldn't let me so now I'm not letting _you _go until you _tell me!"_

And she promptly placed the Leg-Bind Curse on him, smiling in satisfaction as James struggled and tried to get free, cursing.

"Aw, come on Lily, let me out!" he pleaded. "I have to – to go do things!"

"Yeah?" she asked. "I did too. But I want to talk to you, so I find it makes things easier for me to keep you this way."

"But my wand – I left it in the changing rooms!" he cried desperately.

Lily rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to _leave _you like this, idiot," she told him, standing just out of reach of his arms. "Unless, of course, you don't tell me!"

"Do you _really _have to know?" he asked her, annoyed. "It's not a life or death situation."

"I realise that James," she told his breezily. "But see, my curiosity really _nags _me sometimes, and when that happens I forget to tell three certain people that their dear mate is _stuck _on the field!"

She looked up at him and smiled sweetly.

"Wouldn't want that happening would we?"

This is what she loved about being mates with James Potter. The simple banter they exchanged; how funny he was, especially when he was pleading for her to let him go.

And, she realised, this was what had made her fancy him. His personality, the way they argued, the way they made each other laugh, how he _always _seemed to be there.

She could certainly fall in love with him.

Lily shook her head. Love? They weren't even dating yet! Best save the love when their relationship wasn't a figment of her imagination but actually _real_.

"Oh, for Merlin's sake!" James exclaimed, bringing her back to her not-dating-James-Potter reality. "Just _let me out _will you?!"

"No!"

"Why the hell not?!"

"Listen, James, "Lily said, exasperated. "_You're _not going anywhere until you tell me. _I'm _not going anywhere until you've told me. So spill."

"For the love of – "James muttered. "Look, if you want to know the truth I was afraid you would yell at me."

Lily stared at him.

_I was afraid you would yell at me_.

She felt...disappointed. For some reason, she had expected another Hogsmeade proposal. She had expected him to say that he _did _still fancy her, that he didn't want to be just friends that he wanted _more_....

She only wanted an inkling of chance that he felt the same way she did. Was that too much to ask for?

Apparently it was.

_God._

"Lily?" asked James, pulling her out of her reverie. She stared at him, trying to mask the blatant rejection washing through her...not that she'd _actually _been rejected.

"Yes, James?" she asked, hesitantly.

"Will you let me out now?" he queried hopefully.

"Just one more question," she said and he groaned, making the corners of her mouth twitch a little. "Why did you think I'd yell at you?"

James flushed, embarrassed. "I thought it was actually quite obvious."

"Well, it's not," Lily told him tersely. "Care to explain?"

"Because....because I..." James sighed unhappily.

"Just spit it out," she told him. "Better to get it over with quickly."

"Because I _kissed _you!"

Lily froze.

_Oh._

There was the point she'd been avoiding all day.

"Uh, Lily?" he asked, looking at her worriedly. "Lily? You alright?"

"I..." she choked out.

"Lily, I'm sorry, okay?" he said, leaning towards her.

"What?"

"I'm sorry," he whispered. "I'm sorry for kissing you."

"But..." Lily frowned, confused. "But you _didn't _kiss me! _I _kissed _you!"_

James' cheeks went red. "Yeah, but I – I kissed you back. And you've been avoiding me all day..."

Silly boy. Didn't he know she'd been trying to avoid the fact the kiss existed because it would complicate everything, make him reject her and crush her delicate heart?

No, she remembered. He didn't.

"James," she said hesitantly. "I wasn't avoiding you because I kissed you. It was because I thought you might not _like _me kissing you."

"You mean..." James frowned trying to make sense of this. _And good luck to him._ "You're not angry at me for kissing you?"

"For the last time, _I _kissed _you_," she said, crossing her arms and rolling her weight onto one leg. "I'm not angry. I don't blame you for kissing me back – you're only male after all."

Internally, Lily snorted. Of course she blamed him, for giving her a little bit of hope and then when they met up this morning he acted as if it hadn't happened! She'd been _furious_.

_Stupid bloke. _

"Oh, that's alright – Wait!" he shouted. "You don't mind? Me and you kissing?"

Here was her chance. Lily took a deep breath and walked a bit closer, so their noses were touching.

_She could do this_!

"James," she liked the way his named rolled off her tongue. How she'd managed to call him 'Potter' for all these years was beyond her. "I...well, I've actually. No. That's not right. I just...."

"Lily?" he prompted, both of them forgetting the Curse on him.

"James...I – I fancy you," she whispered and instantly winced. Hearing it aloud made it that much more real.....and terrifying. "I have for, well, not a _long _time, but I do, and it's alright if you don't, because you did say you didn't anymore, but I just had to tell you that I did. Because I had to let you know and Marlene told me to jump you, but I think that me telling you is better and –"

James laughed, causing Lily's flush to deepen. "Look at me," he commanded, taking hold of her chin and coaxing her head up.

Lily stared at him, barely registering his rapidly lowering face before his lips were on hers.

And _Merlin _was it good.

She groaned into his mouth, which she had automatically opened for him, pressing against his chest. She could feel his smile against her lips as his hands explored under her top and hers returned the favour.

And she'd thought _yesterday _had been good. This was....mind-blowing.

And if she'd known he could kiss like this before, well she wouldn't have waited two weeks to make her move.

Lily moaned as his tongue swept the inside of her mouth and jolts of electricity ran between their mouths. She had always known kissing was good, but being with James was...amazing. It was better than anyone else she'd everyone else she'd ever kissed. She had never felt so warm, had never felt these tingles before, had never felt so _right..._

And then she remembered why she'd come down to the Pitch in the first place.

"James, wait!" she gasped, ripping her mouth away from his. "I have to ask you something!"

"Ask me _later_," James muttered. "When I'm not in the middle of snogging you."

"No!" Lily cried, annoyed, trying to push herself away. "This is _important_!"

"Your opinion of important is subjective," James told her mischievously. "You think asking me this question is important. I think snogging you is important. Clearly, the most important is snogging. So..."

Lily pushed away his face, annoyed with herself for the large amount of effort this cost her.

"James, just listen to me!"

"I will, _afterwards."_

"Look," Lily huffed. "The sooner I ask, the sooner you reply, the sooner we get back to snogging. Got it?"

"Fine," James grumbled. "Make it fast."

_Deep breaths, Lily. Deep breaths..._

"Willyougooutwithme?"

"What?" James whispered, disbelieving.

"I said...." Lily gulped, staring up at him. "Will you go out with me? To Hogsmeade?"

James stared at her a minute longer.

And then, with a whoop of joy, he attached his mouth firmly to hers.

"I assume that's a yes then?" Lily laughed, breaking free again.

"Damn right it is," James muttered and then their mouths were firmly attached again.

Seventeen _so _beat eleven.


End file.
